1. Exams bring out the worst in scangers. *plop sound* making such sounds in the middle of your maths paper just isnt a sign of intelligence. The only maths that apllys to scangers is the probability that they will live of the dole. probability = 1. yes i made a maths joke.
2. If you want your film to be nominated fro some oscars there are some pretty easy steps to follow:a) your film must contain large periods of silence. They say it provokes thought in the audience. I say they just couldnt find enough deep words to fill the script with.b) a character who has some kind of problem with his dad. I dont know why but oscar judges love the whole "i didnt get on with my father thing" just like physcholigists.c) an evil villain evryone hates..although i love the villain there so much cooler.d) other general arty shit such as camera angles.....oh and mexicans!!
3. CLOVERFIELD: a film so devastating so badly filmed it makes people sick. The monster is quite funny looking though. rawwwrr im gonna destroy the city!!! why monster? where is all this anger coming from?maybe he too had poblems with his father.
4.If you leave money in your pocket it will get spentIsnt it so annoying when you go into a shop and just buy shit you dont even need just cause you have money? damn you flashy advertising
5.its almost cheaper to have a sex change and pay female insurance than to try and pay male insurance! not that i would consider a sex change...
6. Have you been fatally wounded? dont sweat. All you need is a nice check shirt. yes thats right a check shirt can keep any wound closed, support a broken arm and even cure the common cold. Shocking but amazing noe the less.
7. Germans actually have a sense of humour. I watched a german tv program the other day about germans dropping eggs from great heights and chuckling to themselves. Maybe ive got it wrong though maybe they were carrying out important research?
8. There are too many zumo spin off companies. You can now get the healthiest smoothie from over 10 different juice bars. Not all of them are the best so someones gotta be lying
9. Retro songs are by far the coolest.all this new music shit..well its shit. today youve got a few types of music. Shitty pop which relies on the artist being in the tabloids everyday to make it.Singer song writer one hit wonders.and of course fucking gay love shit like shane ward
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