Keynesian theory, The Runner, and Paranoid Vision

While Listening to some feel good hits of summers gone by, at the moment its semisonic's chemistry, I found actually nice comments joking around on youtube. This is a pleasent suprise and a nice change from " your such a retard at 3.26 that girl says yeah god fucking stick your head in a blender". Less of that please!

1.Bryans college streotypes seem to be true and annoyingly he is proved right again. Business students being alcholics, art students being stoners with too many essays and all others simply quirky.

2. I think it would be hilarious to play rave through hearing aid loops. Then people once they are in range with a hearing aid would get an unexpected blast of Rave. Whoppa!! In the same way I would love to just talk over hearing aid loops and when they walked past just say crazy things and convince they are hearing voices and going insane. Slightly scabby but hilarious nonetheless.

3.Isnt it really annoying when your like " Oh dont you remember such and such a song or music video and people look at you like no, no I do not. Gahh Delve into your mind!!!

4. " Do rhetorical questions make good headlines wonders sub editor." you Just gotta watch and love Nightlive with its witty scrolling comments and general hilarity its a must see..

5.I am starting to hate football. Professional players who make 100,000 a week cant make a simple up the sideline pass, cant finish and cant put on a good game. Watching Rovers vs. Pats is more exciting than the champions league lately. As for Ronaldhinio I have lost all faith. He is a disgrace. All that talent and he sits there making easy passes. He Puts as much effort into his football as Katy Perry puts into her lyrics...

6. I have a brilliant idea for a restaurant called the runner. When you finish your dinner you have to pull a runner and try to escape through an obstacle course of sumo wrestlers, bouncy walls and mad things like takeshis castle. If you escape well your dinner is free!!

7. I am thinking of becoming the Bear Grylles of commuting. I could rummage through peoples bags for food and equipment and at random intervals when the show is getting boring I could just jump out the window. Id do that at least a couple of times per show.

8. Bands like Slainte the trad rock band in town should be famous not these fucking shit Lady Gaga types. Ohh I Drunk a little bit too much. Write a song bout getting too pissed and not know whats happening and you get to number one, write a funky jam people respect and you get left on Grafto.

9. People out there it is time to get more exprressive with what you are listening to. If your listening to your favouritre song and the deadly guitar riff comes up, then bop the head or dance about. Lets show boring Stiffs how to kick ass while commuting!!

10. As of the 17th of Feburary it has become noticably brighter in the morning.

11. To the 7.20 bus driver on the bus to Naas your sign is still wrong. Its been four weeks now and your sign still says busaras please just change it to Naas!!

12.THERES A HIGH COST OF LIVING. Paranoid Vision are the best worst band in the world. You gotta respect them just because of how bad they are. No one else could be that good a being shit. Someone needs to throw an economics book at them and shoot their bassist though.

13. This is a quick shout out to my homie John Maynard Keynes, The only true Ghostrida of the economic world.

14. I am constantly trying to find new ways of keeping my relationship with nirina crazy. My most recent idea, is that i am adopting a stricter Kiss policy. IN future she wil have to fill out a long and boring EP1501 form every time. She will then have to wait for the return of an Fg21 report form indicating the result and why the kiss was accepted or rejected. Should be entertaining.

15. Finally I have found a Bus Eireann Driver close to my heart. " I wont be going fucking anywhere near Turf Bog Lane". To the driver of the 2.30 bus through Tallaght you are restoring faith in bus eireann for me.

Train stations, totalitarianism and stealing from ash!

im afraid this wont be a long post or have a picture for two days because im writing this on a shit hueston station computer. EDIT: Well this has been changed as i am now safely at home with the power of the Hp laptop. Here we go break it down, ah yes thats a funky jam.

1. Heuston station is really bland,just like lack of effort you know.Damn only 30 secs left james bond music

2. *ding dong. Train train train, time and place. Thank you for travelling with Ian rud Eireann.* Try listening to that all morning when all you want it to say is galway, talk about building it up man..

3. How come the second after you go to bed after feeling knackered, your suddenly not tired?

4. Since my blog is for social experiences and wonderings, (first statement of objective whoahhhhh) if I have an idea for the blog in my dreams, does it count?...Fuck yeah because its my blog, thats totalitarian power baby!! I dreamt that somewhere there was a student hostel, a has shop and an optical illusion shop in one string of buildings. How incredibly fun and stereotypical would that be?...Then I Remembered thats really just Amsterdam.

5. I love the crunch of snow underneath my foot. Mmmmm..

6.Reading the comments you left on peoples pics on bebo ages ago is priceless ( I must state that this is very similar to ash's blog 2 point 5 but anyway). Seeing your old sense of humour is almost more funny than the actual humour itself.

7. Double bass is now the coolest instrument in the world after drums.

8. Myslef and Luke recently attempted a homemade cajon(if you dont know what a cajon is please chek this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4J3FmmKdZUw). Using only a wine box,a pencil case filled with some pennies, an old chambers dictionary and a healthy supply of masking tape. I am quite proud of it but lukes dad who owns the said material...not so impressed

Expiry dates,pretentiousness and full grown men in prams

how am i supposed to type with no light, light when you ain there, no light no light. Enough pop puns and shennigans lets get down to business like Persopolis does in the first five pages. No im not gonna explicitly lay down a heartbraking depiction of my countrys turmoil. Ok so its not like Persopolis. Whatev!! So over him gosh!!

1.I find that the date on the milk bottle is a good indicator of how long I have left to do something. In some ways this can make breakfast as terrifying as the prospect of being forced to watch greys anatomy or Sex and the city. I often find myself at the fridge going "ah fuck it cant be nearly time for the milk to expire on the 30th nooo". finding out that your milk is going to expire and that you have an exam is never a good combination.

2. Tv3 what happened? seriously you used to know you were terrible when you ran documentaries on such issues as "look my kid is fatter than an elephant" and " My mother is a prostitute". But now oh now Tv3 you have asserted a new more respectful pretentious looking facade for your bigus tv. Its like calling a stripclub a Gentlemans club...Its still a stripclub..

3. IN reality I dont think I hate bus eireann. Its warm, it takes me home and gives me tonnes of blog material. Jumping johavas witnesses batman what have i said?? In my defense when I wrote this one i was listening to orchestra and it was a lovely sunny day. To balance things out ill kidnap a Driver and his family.. these threats are going to get me into trouble one day...

4. Have you ever gone to see a film and when you come out you think to yourself "yeah but if that had just happened instead it would hvae been great". Frost/Nixon had this effect on me. I was praying for the character development Praying but alas none came forth..I Do film studies in Trinity huhuhuh sorry heather..

5. The diehard Quadrilogy (even quadrilogy is more manly than trilogy)is so manly and rewatchsble. With tits, killing and slick lines like " NO fucking shit lady, Do I sound like IM trying to order a fucking pizza?" they are just classics.

6. This one goes out to my homeboy in the pram on Grafton Street. Focking total ledge. He said if i pushed him down to the molly malone statue hed give me a bannnana and he did. A man of his word and of freaky arty ideas clearly but a legebd none the less.

7. Do you want to try and look sexy in a 1970s style jumper that looks like your mother picked it out for you along with its matching scarf. Do you want to splash out a ridicolous amount of money on a shit pullover that is so useless that you may as well wear less clothing to feel warmer? Well then Farell and Brown is the place for you. Pretentious wankers...

8. My 14 adventure day plan is running smoothly with a drinking sesh, trip to Galway., cinem trip, friend revival (ash and rach) and dart adventure already secured. This are some productive ass days.

Babies on acid and bikes? Bad combination.

It seems that people will do anything to avoid study. Procrastination always invoves the most stupid and ridicoulous distractions. Things that you would never do, simply because they are too crazy or are actually more boring than studying ironically. I have inevitably fallen into this category..

1.I never thhought prog rock could be happy or funky for that matter. I always believed it involved death screamers or boring shites talking about pretentious issues over eally slow and boring music. then I found Battles and it was like entering a Baptist church in America. Getting pulled in, wanting more, spekaing in tongues (well thats just how the lyrics actually sound) and praying for more. I am actually rocking back and forward in funk spasms.

2. I Was in the homeland of Hurling. I took over a castle, played hurling with DJ Carey, and had a quality pint of guiness and settled down in Supermacs for cheap cheeseburgers. Where was I? Only Kilkenny. VOted best Irish town to go to, to experience Irish roadtripping. This was brought to you by Discover Ireland. Mo chroi sa bheal and other shit irish sayings no one else understands but are there for cultural reasons.

3. 3 Days is the max I can go without shaving before I look like a dirty hobo..Sorry before I look MORE like a dirty hobo.

4. I am sick of electric woodblock in R'n'B dance music. Timbaland did it so it must be cool. Just get a new instrument to electrify. Electric banjo...that would go well in the next rihanna hit single.

5. Why do Eurobabys and Eurocycles have drum and Base madness in their ads? Its as if they think babies are acid heads already. "Ohh bhoyz Eurobaby is da fuckin bomb man, they play fuckin deadly rave and they fixed me stabilisers. Wicked man!" Babies on acid and bikes is just a bad mix. Think of the havoc. Sweetstores would be hit the worst of course but.. MY GAWD!!!

6. Finding the motivation to study Motivation is quite difficult. I found this particularly funny.

7. CASTLEDERMOT MUST DIE!! Its inhabitants and all, just bomb the shit over it and start again..WITH A MOTORWAY. The whole route to kilkenny? Sweet motorway..untill you get to castledermot then your crawling for 20 mins at 10 kmh and have retard female drivers cutting you up only to park ten feet from where she was already parked. Red button please..

8. My laptop is sweet and I love the little thing but gawd I wish it would stop giving me chronic bac ache. I feel about 70.

Edit: I dont know why I used so much CAPSLOCK this time.

Bachelors, German cookies and Foetuses!

Well now that I have my claim to fame after meeting Dermot Whelan and since Im almost a minor celebrity thanks to the Mr.North gig, I am going to quit writing blogs and retire. Then I will find some amazing journalist to write my autobiography and add in things that would make my life more interesting... Well thats what I would do if i was a Z list like any WAG..

1.This one may come across as quite weird but all these hip new party ideas are almost as strange...FOETUS PARTYS!! This is where you lie naked in the middle of the room with loads of your friends in the foetal position with tubing attched to your stomach listening to fast paced music rocking back and forward.. I can see it becoming popular..

2. You know the way everyone that has one of those words at which they just laugh at whenever they hear it? Well mine is snooping. hehe i love the word snooping!! It also brings back good memories of snoopy, ah the misfortunate large nosed puppy.

3. I hate clubs! Oh the sexyness. oh the girls with juicy written across their ass. GENERAL PROVACITIVENESS. Ah bhoyz im going clubbin tonight gonna get me hole yeow!! No no your not your in a club. the girls are just being overly flirty and what are you going to do bring them back to your mas gaf? Fuck sake. And then theres the fact that every club is a sweat box. Sweatier than a 32 stone man's underflaps.

4. This weeks commuting related topic is commutin headaches. Headaches you get just from the actual commuting process. The noisy engine, the shaky bus, the peoples headphones blasting, the stress of bus Eireann. At this stage I could be considered a panadol junkie.

5. This months song of the month award (no actual award will be given) goes to Presidents of The U.S.A for their song peaches. None as that annoying band that bring out one hit wonders, kinda like fountains of wayne in that way, these noble politicians have brought us a song about peaches. A funk hoe down about peaches and only peaches, well they get my vote.

6. Recently when watching Prime Time during the christmas holiday I imagined sanat being interviewed by Miriam O Callaghan on Prime Time. The following is my imaginery transcript:

Miriam: Well Santa thanks for being here in studio with us, I know your very busy of late. A recent Prime Time investigation though has found some problems at the north pole. The working rights of your Elves cam under particualr scrutiny. What would you say in respionse?
Santa: Well *takes drag from cigar* Id say you aint got much evidence Lady and your a step away from being on the naughty list
Miriam: Yes but is isnt it true that they have been known to work 36 hours wihout a break or lunch
Santa: I take great offence to that. Anyway my brothers at Nike outsource mty labour for me, so its not exactly my problem.
Miriam: ok ok well anta another re occurence seems to be the question of your actual existence
Santa: In fairness If im right here...
Miraim: *Generally shouts down santa in typical Miriam style.
Santa: Well if I could just make the key point that..
Miriam: I sorry thats all we have time for because I always have to finish the show with the upper hand. Thanks for watching I have been an arrogant bitch. goodnight

7. If christmas time rolls around next year and your not feling too festive then make sure you make some german cookies and decorate them indivudually. Now thats festive fun!

8. I find the way people deliver christmas cards to their neighbours quite hilarious. Its such a secret affair. People dress up in ninja suits and hop over their nieghbours wall,crwl up to the leter box and push it in just so gently BANG. Shit the letterbox slammed Scarper!! Like why the secrecy? You live next door to them they know who you are plus once they read the card well again they will know who you are. Its not like theres anthrax in them or something....

9. Last night I made dinner for myslef and my mother and then sat in watching a film with her. Im not looking for an aww here. The point is I felt like a 40 year old bachelor living in his mothers house. Soon Ill be internet dating and inventing new cereals oh gawd.

And thats all for this fun filled festive installment. I dont usuaully do conclusions, this is new for me, Im so nervous!

EDIT: Why does blogspot say that I post my blogs at like 2.50 A.M its 11.45 A.M. Thanks for making me look like a sad insomniac all this time blogspot.

Hip hop tours,Clarkson and Composer!

HARRRRVEY NORMAN!! MASSIVE BUMPER CHRISTMAS BLOG EDITION!!

I had so many ideas for the blog this time that, one, I felt that i must be bleeding ideas dry and soon Ill have none left and, two, I created a blog idea folder on my phone cos theyre too hard to remember. So here we go, ten spin hits in a row (*whispers* ten spin hits in a row) ten spin.. WE KNOW!!!

1. Jeremy Clarkson is an arrogant prick.. but my gawd is he entertaining. With his witty puns, cynical comments and plain offensive interjections he entertains the face off you! If he can be famous for being arrogant then I think there is a carreer there for me...

2. Ticket inspectors on Bus Eireann?? Pointless...

3. Contrary to popular belief, Greasy hair does have some advantages over clean hair:

Greasy hair does not get itchy in hats as it has a layer of lubrication against the hat.

It is basically self styling and self holding. Fuck fructis hold or any of that, pure natural grease is unmovable and once you roll out of bed? well theres todays style.

You can have a badass mullet.

4. "I had women, wine, party time and everything that matters." A fantastic lyric about all everyone wants. Thank you Zutons!!

5. This leads me on to my next point. Recently I have found that the songs making it into the Irish carts contain absolutely terrible lyrics. A few examples should make my point clear:

Katy Perry, Hot n Cold reached number one: "someone call the doctor got a case of love bi polar stuck on a rollercoaster...your hot and your cold, yes no, hot cold hot cold hot..." This would have been witty and entertaining had it been about my shower but otherwise...

Akon, Right now: I wanna make up right now na na,I wanna make up right now na na,wish we never broke up na na na na na" STOP IT AKON OR ILL SMACK THAT!! BY THAT I MEAN YOU.
Basically Cop the fuck on Irish people.

6. Laptops are a college students best friend and worst enemy. When you need to do a project really quickly and they are there to add images and arrange things my gawd do you love them. But when you are trying to study and Internet explorer is open? Well you may as well forget it, what with bubbleshoter and all.

7. Did you enjoy Hop on Hop off tour buses? If so you will love Hip-Hop tour buses. "Wassup Niggaz? up on yo left fool is the hip the hap happening government buildings where they is trippn dawg! Aight Bitch I aint take no questions, read the bling girl! *shows bling saying I aint take no Questions!". ohh we can all dream...

8. I hate bus Eireann express buses mainly because they are not express, they save you no time and they just dont go through Jtown. And the driver?? Oh he has been marked for death what with his "no only naas!!!". The battle rages on..

9. *notes that 3rd person narrative conversations are entertaining*

10. My new fantasy (And no I am not revealing any other of my Fantasys) is to live in a Dutch windmill. Oh it would be just so Austrian and tranquil and Idyllic. Oh the sound of music of it all..

11.Oh My Flippin Gawd!!! Total Focking Nostalgia! Do you remember Composer on the old Nokia phones?On the old 3210 etc.? Using terrible pitch Ranges and tempo changes that no one fully understood you and your mate would sit around all day making beats. Then your more experienced street wide friend comes over and shows you how to make sandstorm and you feel bleedin rapih beacuse you have sandstorm as your ringtone! Then again that could just be the nostalgia of a Tallaght child..

12. Finally Winter is getting on my nerves!! It is becoming an epic battle between myself and the cold. It launches its attack with frost and icy winds and I defend myself with a barrage of scarfs, hats, gloves and jackets So i almost look like a lagging jacket but Damn it the wind always gets ya. Also I do not appreciate being made a fool off by icy ground.

13. Meteo*r have a star in their name for a reason. Its because of all the fucking Terms and conditions they have such as you may not make calls when you actually need to and may run out of free texts without being notified only to be left in the middle of nowhere with no lift..fuck meteor also.

Also I am considering getting tshirts printed with "fuck bus eireann" on the front and "I hate commuting on the back". Let me know if your interested (Note: Karl is not actually responsible for supplying,creating or actually doing anything regards the tshirts and may point out it was just a joke. Terms and conditions apply)

Begging,Obesity and fantastic sayings!

Well Kiddies its time for another grand look at the social scenes I observe everyday. Hit it DJ mad scone!



1. Internet Explorer Cannot Display The Page:



The most likely reasons for this are:



(a) Internet explorer is wayy too lazy to open the page for you.

(b) You are in a rush and Internet Explorer knows this therefore is trying to make you late.

(c) Your name is Karl Purcell and Internet Explorer simply doesnt like you

(d) You are trying to download Mozilla in order to delete Internet Explorer.



2. Why do Chineses always have a TV?

3.You know your getting fat when jiggling your thigh is a form of entertainment. There are also many other ways to know your getting fat such as using your stomach as a can holder and when your xxl tshirts are more like belly tops. But the thigh jiggle is by far the most shocking and stark.

4. I quite enjoy getting a seat to myself on the bus, to the extent that I have developed techniques to ensure I get a whole seat.

(a) There is the over used and not so effective bag gesture, by which you place your bag on the seat as if your bag needed a seat of its own.
(b) There is the angry look. To get the full effect you wait till you make eye contact with the other passenger and then look threatingly at them, they wont sit down now and if they do? well...
(c) One of the most effective but also effective at getting you kicked off is the crazy person look. If you sit in your seat and mumble things, proclaim some things louder than others, and rock back and forward you are guarenteed a seat..however your almost guarenteed to be pulled off by the guards...

5. This one goes out to the man listening to Master Of Puppets at full volume on the luas yesterday morning at 9 a.m. "MASTER!! MASTER!! WANKA!! WANKA!! Seriously save your ears and save my sanity and stop playing your music that loud. It is NOT sharing.

6. If one more begger asks more for money when im getting on the luas they will get an express journey tied to the bottom of the luas with their face exposed to the tracks.

7. This one is an oisin input (have to put this in for copyright issues in the future). Metro and Herald A.M girls that are hot, good job. If you can look hot in a massive blue or red bubble jacket then fair play.

8. Castlewarden is irrelevant.

9." A legend in his own lunch box". Probably the best comment made by a 35 year old customer about Rory Gallagher ever. Im not even quite sure what it means but I am going to use it as much as possible until it becomes one of those classic sayings like as bold as brass. Again makes no sense but people know what you mean.