Saturday, November 22, 2008

Begging,Obesity and fantastic sayings!

Well Kiddies its time for another grand look at the social scenes I observe everyday. Hit it DJ mad scone!

1. Internet Explorer Cannot Display The Page:

The most likely reasons for this are:

(a) Internet explorer is wayy too lazy to open the page for you.

(b) You are in a rush and Internet Explorer knows this therefore is trying to make you late.

(c) Your name is Karl Purcell and Internet Explorer simply doesnt like you

(d) You are trying to download Mozilla in order to delete Internet Explorer.

2. Why do Chineses always have a TV?

3.You know your getting fat when jiggling your thigh is a form of entertainment. There are also many other ways to know your getting fat such as using your stomach as a can holder and when your xxl tshirts are more like belly tops. But the thigh jiggle is by far the most shocking and stark.

4. I quite enjoy getting a seat to myself on the bus, to the extent that I have developed techniques to ensure I get a whole seat.

(a) There is the over used and not so effective bag gesture, by which you place your bag on the seat as if your bag needed a seat of its own.
(b) There is the angry look. To get the full effect you wait till you make eye contact with the other passenger and then look threatingly at them, they wont sit down now and if they do? well...
(c) One of the most effective but also effective at getting you kicked off is the crazy person look. If you sit in your seat and mumble things, proclaim some things louder than others, and rock back and forward you are guarenteed a seat..however your almost guarenteed to be pulled off by the guards...

5. This one goes out to the man listening to Master Of Puppets at full volume on the luas yesterday morning at 9 a.m. "MASTER!! MASTER!! WANKA!! WANKA!! Seriously save your ears and save my sanity and stop playing your music that loud. It is NOT sharing.

6. If one more begger asks more for money when im getting on the luas they will get an express journey tied to the bottom of the luas with their face exposed to the tracks.

7. This one is an oisin input (have to put this in for copyright issues in the future). Metro and Herald A.M girls that are hot, good job. If you can look hot in a massive blue or red bubble jacket then fair play.

8. Castlewarden is irrelevant.

9." A legend in his own lunch box". Probably the best comment made by a 35 year old customer about Rory Gallagher ever. Im not even quite sure what it means but I am going to use it as much as possible until it becomes one of those classic sayings like as bold as brass. Again makes no sense but people know what you mean.


Nizzy said...

haha the first is funny! especially point 3 on that, if yoo are Karl, IE just doesn't like yoo. oi!! yoo are not fat, so don't think yoo are..however i agree that does sound funny, haha an XXL is a belly oh i HATE when peoples' music is TOO LOUD!!! ugh soo annoyin.

oh yoo are silly xx

Conor said...

oddly enough people never sit beside me on the bus